Shira Tarrant is an expert in gender politics, feminism, pop culture, and masculinity. She is the author of Men and Feminism (Seal Press),When Sex Became Gender (Routledge) and editor of the provocative anthology Men Speak Out: Views on Gender, Sex and Power, and has written articles for Bitch Magazine, BUST Magazine, Ms. Magazine,Huffington Post, and Off Our Backs along with many others. She teaches in the Department of Women’s, Gender, and Sexuality Studies at California State University, Long Beach and has a PhD in political science from UCLA. Femomist is fortunate to have her answer a few questions for us this month.
1. Why should mothers care about feminism? Hasn't it left us behind?
ST: Left us behind? Not at all! Feminism includes the idea that we need to value motherhood. Of course, from there things get more complicated like all political conversations do. But mothers should care about feminism because feminism cares a lot about moms.
2. Do you think there is a gap between non-parental feminists and breeding feminists? Do non-parental feminists believe we have "sold out"?
ST: It’s not like breeder-feminists and child-free feminists are Crips and Bloods. We’re not at war with each other. We have a lot of common interests and concerns.
That said, there are places where politics differ and even the best-intentioned people tend to look out for their own self-interest. So some non-parenting feminists might see breeding as selling out. But mostly that’s a hot-button issue that the media likes to promote. Catfights sell better than thoughtful analysis.
3. Do you think feminist parenting is more complicated now than the "Free To Be You and Me" era, or do the same tenents and challenges still apply?
ST: I think it’s challenging to find supportive communities for progressive parenting in any era.
4. Do you think Mommy Blogging and/or "parental absorption" is helping or hurting feminism?
ST: Parental absorption – is that what we’re calling it? What a luxury to act entitled and self-absorbed about parenting as if nobody else has ever done it before. Not everyone has that privilege.
It’s so great that the Internet provides a forum for moms to come together, vent, and to share info. Motherhood can be isolating. But anytime the focus is on me-myself-and-I it’s at odds with feminism. Feminism is concerned about individuals’ well-being, but it’s also about promoting the greater good for as many people as possible.
5. Why is the media so obsessed with what mothers do and don't do?
ST: See Answer #2: catfight.
The media loves to pit “good girls” and “bad girls” against each other. When it comes to parenting, the good mommy/bad mommy routine gets a lot of play. Do your kids watch the Kardashians on TV? (Bad mommy) Do your kids eat organic lettuce before their yoga class? (Good mommy) But keep in mind, that a lot of the scrutiny mothers experience involves issues of class and race, sexual orientation, and gender. Not everyone is closely scrutinized and not [every] mother is equally patted on the back.
6. What do you believe the biggest challenge will be for the upcoming "Fourth Wave"?
ST: I don’t believe in the “wave” model of feminism because it blurs all the powerful stuff that happens in between those designated time periods. It’s also ethnocentric because the so-called waves only sync up with events that happened in the United States.
But what you’re really asking about is the challenge of the future. There’s so much surveillance and social control. We have a professionalized and digitized childhood. I’m a huge fan of freedom for kids to explore, create, touch, feel, get muddy, run around, and even get in trouble, without the hyper-worry and analyzing that permeates parenting right now. Freedom and respect is how kids learn what feels good, what they enjoy and what they don’t like and — most importantly — how to ask questions, think for themselves, and how to speak up. These are all feminist issues.
7. What are 3 things that would radically improve the lives of women and children in America that we should be focusing on right now?
ST: I actually have 4 things on my wish list: 1. Support. We each make choices in our lives for lots of complicated reasons. I’d like to see us move past judgment so we can focus more on providing support for each other. That includes support for teen moms, older moms, mothers in the paid workforce, SAHM’s, child-free women, queer moms, and everything in between. Ultimately, this is best for children—and kids need to stay central in these conversations. 2. Pay equity. There’s a lot of talk in mainstream media right now about women lapping men in employment and salary rates. That makes great headlines, but it’s not accurate. There’s still a serious pay gap, especially when we factor in race, ethnicity, education, geographic location — and parental status! 3. Childcare. And I’m talking about excellent child-centered, high-quality childcare. Not daycare. We’re taking care of kids, not days. 4. We need men on board as active, engaged parents. We need this for a million reasons. Younger men are saying they would give up promotion and pay if it meant they could spend more time with their children. But our cultural and economic systems aren’t quite in line with this. Not yet.
